Skip links

A HOROSCOPE FOR THE MYSTIC HOUND

A HOROSCOPE FOR THE MYSTIC HOUND
Aries (March 21 – April 20)

Aries, a word of caution- beware false friends this month. A trip to the “park” may be a trip to the vet in disguise as your human actively deceives you once again.  It’s a ruff start to the New Year. Not all is lost though, you will be bribed for forgiveness with your favourite treat.

Lucky color: Red


Taurus (April 21 – May 20)

A positive start to 2017, Taurus, with Mars rising in your sign.  Every dog has its day, and lucky for you, we see plentiful feasts in your near future of socks, pillows, slippers, television remotes, all washed down with the finest and freshest toilet water. Bon appetite!

Lucky colorGreen

 

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

What you seek, you shall find Gemini. That toy you buried in the yard six months ago you will once again magically find through sheer determination and your digging prowess. Never mind your human, they won’t understand that the garden had to be sacrificed on this sacred pursuit.

Lucky colorBlue

 

Cancer (June 21 -July 20)

Cancer, the alignment of the planets this month sees you longing for travel. You crave escaping the security of your doggy bed to explore the world- Barkingham Palace, Pawllywood or at the very least, your local dog park. Keep pressuring your human with your adorable puppy dog eyes and a leash in your mouth, and they will surrender.

Lucky colorPink

 

Leo (July 21 – August 20)

Leo pooch, avoid cat-astrophe this month as Jupiter ascending in your sign brings conflict and a clash around the 22nd of the month. Your arch nemesis, the neighbourhood feisty feline, may test your patience, but it is wise to let sleeping dogs lie. Cats are smart. Probably even smarter than you.

Lucky colorBlack

 

Virgo (August 21 – September 20)

Love is on the horizon for Virgo canines thanks to the strong forces of Venus. You’ll be on fire at the park, and that well groomed, charming yet always-aloof dog you’ve sniffed on your past few walks may be more receptive to your advances.  Get your breath in check, play your cards right and this may be a case of true puppy love.

Lucky colorPurple

 

Libra (September 21 – October 20)

In early 2017 a man in a uniform will mysteriously re-appear in your life, Libra. You remember him and his smell vividly from past visits. Even though the urge to growl and bite is strong, you must resist this instinct for he is the postman, and he may be delivering your brand new customized organic bamboo collar from MCC.

Lucky colorBrown

 

Scorpio (October 21 – November 20)

Looking good, feeling great Scorpio pup. You’ve been working like a dog (being cute 24/7 can get exhausting), so just unwind and relax at your upcoming visit to the groomers. You’ll get your hair and nails styled to perfection. Just be sure that as soon as you leave you find the first muddy puddle possible and roll in it as thoroughly as you can.

Lucky color: White

 

Sagittarius (November 21 – December 20)

Shed happens, Sagittarius pooch.  As you enter into a phase of transition and personal evolution expect to leave your old self behind in the form of malting fur all over the carpet…and the furniture, the car, and your human’s clothes and in their cooking. In fact, there won’t be a single surface left untouched by your fur during this time of great change.

Lucky color: Yellow

 

Capricorn (December 21 – January 20)

It will be a vocal time, Capricorn, as this month will be a time to express yourself. You will bark incessantly at nothing at all and for no apparent reason, completely confusing your human. You will mainly bark at night, when it is most disruptive to the neighbourhood.

Lucky colorNavy

 

Aquarius (January 21 – February 20)

A lesson in patience awaits, Aquarius. You’ve been blamed for another’s farts one too many times and you are understandably enraged. Never fear, your time for revenge gas will present itself soon. Be sure to target the head of an unsuspecting human for maximum impact or wait till there are many guests about.

Lucky colorOrange

 

Pisces (February 20 – March 20)

Slow and low is your pace for the moment, Pisces hound. You’re feeling needy and you want to follow your human around everywhere, constantly underfoot to ensure they almost trip over you multiple times. Where they go, you want to be, licking their shoe. Why should they get privacy and personal space when you need love and attention?

Lucky color: Violet